Focus on the important stuff!

13/02/2015 15:03

Divorce is not for sissies! The better you manage your divorce and your own wellness the sooner you can move on with your new life. It's a process. The following suggestions may help you get through this difficult time.


Spend time with yourself. One is supposed to become one unit during a marriage and you spend years together being one couple, one family, one house hold etc. When you break up or divorce happens then you are almost “half the person” having to become whole again meaning one with yourself.


It will take some time for you to adjust to this major change in your life. During this time, treat yourself as well as you can by doing the following.


·        Eat a balanced diet.

·        Get enough sleep.

·        Exercise regularly.

·        Get to know yourself again.

·        Rekindle your hobbies.

·        Spend time with friends and family.

·        Spend lots of time with your children.

·        Make sure you plan your weekends especially when the kids are not with you.


You can easily be overcome by loneliness and despair if you are all alone at home when your kids go to their dad for the weekend.  A good start would be to make use of an annual parenting plan.  If you already know which weekends the kids will be away, plan to be busy during these times.


Support from others is critical to healing after a divorce. You might feel like being alone is better, but isolating yourself will only make this time more difficult. Alone time is great but too much might just push you away from society, friends and family. Don’t try to get through this on your own.

 Tips on how to plan your weekends ahead:


  • Study again.
  • Join a gym or start yoga if you have not done it before.  
  • Find an organization in your community that needs volunteers and sign up.
  • Arts festivals are always fun, you can invite your friends and see some awesome productions.
  • If you like sport go watch a water polo or rugby match or even participate.
  • Join a running club and do a race every second weekend. It’s good for the mind, body and soul. It will give you a lot of time to think.
  • Start a dinner club.
  • By simply visiting computicket’s website you will definitely find something to do. Go watch a movie by yourself.
  • Start your own book club – you don’t actually have to read anything! Explore new interests. A divorce or breakup is a beginning as well as an end. Take     the opportunity to explore new interests and activities. Pursuing fun, new activities gives you a chance to enjoy life in the here-and-now, rather than           dwelling on the past.
  • Rediscover old interests.  Go back to what was important to you before you got married / got divorced. If you for instance used to love sport activities like   swimming, netball or running, join a club and start participating again.
  • Join a divorce support group but don’t become a member forever!


Rather join a variety of activities and know you can always decline certain appointments than sitting alone at home not having anything to do.


NOTE to single moms:   Make sure you have lots of married friends, so that your children can see what a marriage looks like and what kind of relationships a mom and dad should have.


Coping after divorce is certainly not easy. By giving yourself the time you need to come to terms with what has happened, you will be better prepared for your next relationship. There is life after divorce, make the most of it!


Think Smart - Live Smart!